While my first year of college has come to an end, my experiences and the transition from high school to college are still fresh on my mind. With my high school education finished, I did not know what to expect but I was extremely excited to be able to be by myself without my parents, meet new people with the hope of establishing long-lasting friendships, and having new experiences. [I was a small town, island girl going into the big city for the first time by myself.] During the summer before college started, I made sure to watch all these youtube videos so I could have a better understanding of what I was getting myself into. Some of the tips were helpful but for the most part, I had to learn some of the things on my own. I wanted to write this in hopes that some of the lessons I learned would be useful to you or someone that you know.
1. Have Low Expectations:
Going into college, I had pretty low expectations. If I had not watched the videos on Youtube, I would have had a higher one and I would have been disappointed with the outcome. However, since I did, I came into my freshman year with an open mind. For the most part, I am satisfied with the experiences that I was able to have and the people that I have met. The reason I say ‘for the most part’ is that I did have an expectation that was not met.
For example, I always heard about the crazy parties or tailgates that college had to offer and I was expecting to go to some of them. (Of course, this was before the pandemic happened.) The thing is, I never really went to parties when I was in high school and it was never truly my scene. I did go to a couple of parties held by college ministries such as Summit College, CRU, and Young Life but that was about it. I did have fun at all of those but I never got to experience the wild, crazy parties that I had pictured or had seen in movies.
If you typically went to parties in high school or you want to try to go to some while you are in college, go for it. (It may be different now because of the pandemic.) I’m just saying don’t have the expectation that you are going to go to many parties or immediately make long-lasting friendships. It does take time and remember that you still have a few years of college left.
Another thing is that it is totally OKAY for you to not spend your weekend partying. It may be different on what you view college as but for me, one of the things that I always thought about when I thought of the word college was the parties and although it does highlight them, there are so many other activities you could do. If you want to see what the hype is, go ahead but if you find out that it is not your scene, it is OKAY to stay in and watch movies with your friends. It is OKAY if you want to have some me-time. This is only an example of an expectation and you may have a different one and that is okay.
Lesson: Do NOT have any expectations or make sure you have the lowest expectation as possible so that you will not be disappointed by the overall result. I also find that when you don’t expect much, you are surprised and enjoy the experiences more.
2. Have an Open Mind:
This may go hand in hand with the first one but it is VERY important. The reason I say that is because it prepares you for interactions or things that may be out of your comfort zone or what you are used to.
For example, when I arrived at college, I kept an open mind because I did not know what the year was going to look like for me. In the first week of college, I met some people who were part of a student organization that makes up mostly of believers of Christ. I did not know that these people were going to be my friends later on but I did know that I enjoyed being around them. I was agnostic, meaning that I was open to different religions but didn’t believe in a particular one. I was gifted a Bible before I graduated and I didn’t think that I would need it so I just left it at home. Little did I know that I would need it later on. However, if I had not kept my mind open for this, I would not be as close to my friends as I am now. Not only that, but through this, I was able to meet so many new people through the student organization and it led me to a great community.
Lesson: DO keep an open mind because it gives you a better opportunity to meet new people and try something new.
3. It is OKAY to Mess up:
Freshman year is a learning curve. It is okay to mess up and try a different way. From my experience, it is a year of trial and error and it will take some time to find what works best for you. It could be that you are struggling to develop time management skills, prioritizing, and/or finding friends and a community. Whatever it is that you are struggling with, it is okay to try different ways until you find something that best works for how you learn.
Something that I struggled with was finding a studying method that worked for me. In high school, I never really had to study. I was able to answer the homework questions without doing much research. My transition to college was more difficult in this aspect because I had to find a way that helped me complete my homework and papers effectively. I asked a variety of people of their study spots and their method. It was not until the quarantine occurred and THEN I was able to find a way that works best for me. It may take studying on the weekend but it worked.
4. Go to Office Hours and Make Sure to Ask Questions:
I remember asking one of my teachers in high school and he said to go to the office hours that the professors have provided in the syllabus. The syllabus is going to be VERY important and where the assignments will be at. The professors are going to refer to them so make sure to have them.
In the beginning of the college, I did not really take my teacher’s advice until maybe one or two months into it. It’s important to go to office hours because you will be able to have more one-on-one interaction with your professor and you will be able to ask questions that you may be unsure about. Something that I have noticed from one of my friends is that the person was scared to ask questions and that prevents them to be more informed but also it could be a factor in failing a course. With my friend, they did not fail but I always encourage them to ask people when they are unsure. It actually happened to me with an online course that I took when I was in high school. I did not communicate with the professor and ask questions. Therefore, I failed the class because I did not know the material well enough or understand the deadline.
Lesson: DO go to office hours and do NOT be afraid to ask questions because it will help you become more informed but reduce the risk of failing a class.
5. Have a Budget and Stick to It:
One thing I had trouble with was spending too much money on food and clothes. I was told before I came to college to set a budget for the time that I was going to be there. For example, if I have $1000 for spending, I would have to split that amount between the four to five months that I will be there. That will be about $200 for each month and I would have to see what the necessities would be like textbooks and the other spending money for when I wanted to go out with my friends or if I wanted to go on a weekend trip. If you have a job for that type of spending, then budget how much you are able to spend on the activities or food for that month. If you have a meal plan but maybe the food is not good there, see how much you can spend on food for that month and when you should eat there.
6. Make the Most of Your Time at College & Don’t Forget About Me-Time:
Part of the college experience is getting involved in student organizations, clubs, or greek organizations. It is a good way to meet new people and develop friendships while sharing a common goal or interest. While you are at college, it is best to make the most of your time there since you are paying for it.
Another thing to consider is that although it is great that you are spending time with people and doing a lot of things, it is also a good thing to find a balance between participating in everything and having some me-time. Having a lot of me-time can result in homesickness if you lock yourself in your room all day. A good way to get out of your room is to walk around campus and think about your day.
Something that helped me when I was not in a good mental state was to get outside and walk around so that I could think about something that was on my mind. (Make sure that you are in a safe area before you do that though or be aware of your surroundings.) I also found that talking to someone that I trust helped with the problems that occurred in my life at that time. Find a way to cope with stress like writing in a journal.
College can be stressful and taking care of yourself is very important. Make sure that you are sleeping well, eating food, and if you care about your health or are concerned about gaining some weight to exercise a couple of days a week.
7. Homesickness is Normal:
Homesickness can vary depending on the person. It wasn’t until a few months into college when I started to feel it. I started to miss the foods that I ate at home and I did not have much access to it on campus. It started to slowly creep up at me until I thought about it every day or mostly when I was in my room. I knew that I would not be homesick in the beginning because I never experienced it at an earlier time. It actually made more sense that it came later on in the semester when I was more settled into college life. One way that I learned helped me with coping with homesickness was finding places to eat that reminded me of home. It is good to find a place that helps you when you are missing home.
8. Make Sure to Communicate w/ your Roommates/Suite Mates:
A mistake that I made in the first semester of college was to not communicate with my roommate as much as I should and having the habits build up until I could not take it anymore. Going into college, I knew I had to communicate with my roommate if any problem occurred or if there was anything that bothered me within our living situation. I knew that we had different lifestyles and it would be some getting used to before it became a normal thing. In the beginning, I was good at communication. However, there was a point in the middle of the semester when I allowed things to be let go until it annoyed me constantly. I finally reached my breaking point. It was a build up of things that happened.
Lesson: Do NOT let things build up. It will not do you or your roommate ANY good. Instead, communicate your needs or expectations beforehand and throughout the year. Make sure to respect your roommates/suitemates while doing so.
9. Do Not be Afraid to Compliment Someone:
I noticed from some of my friends that some people are afraid to go up to someone and compliment them or say happy birthday to someone because they were popular upperclassmen or they did not know them that well. I always say that complimenting someone can lift up someone’s day or mood. Also, it could lead to making a new friend or having a conversation with someone. For example, at a study abroad festival, the friend that I was with noticed a shirt with the band that she likes on it. She told me that she liked the shirt that girl was wearing and I told her to go up to her and tell her that. She was scared to do it but she went after I encouraged her and she was able to have a conversation with someone over a common interest.
Most people base their feelings about a person from a first impression. I can definitely relate to this. I cannot tell you how many times I judged someone wrong based on the “look” they gave me from the first time I met or saw them. Sometimes I feel that someone is judging me, when in reality they are not. During this summer, I was talking to one of my friends and she said a truthful fact that I wanted to share with you. Most women believe that someone is judging them based on the fact that they are looking at them. A compliment can destroy that judgment within seconds. I know I would be surprised if someone that I thought was judging me came up to me and gave me a compliment. I always believe that a compliment can make someone’s day. I know it makes my day, that’s for a fact.
Lesson: Do NOT be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and do something new. That includes doing little things like complimenting someone or having a conversation with a stranger. (Make sure that you are in a safe environment and to trust your instincts though.)
10. Make Sure to Bring Cold Medicine:
When I was creating my packing list, it never occurred to me to bring cold medicine. I had brought Ibuprofen and Midol but that was about it. A couple of months into college, I got sick and thankfully my roommate had DayQuil/NyQuil pills. It is better to be prepared though because when you are sick, you don’t want to go to a store to get some cold medicine. You want to stay in bed or somewhere comfortable until you get better. If your college provides a health center, take advantage of it if you are paying for it.
11. Bring Emergency Money:
After hearing about this, I always had this in mind but never actually went through with it. I was more worried about the things I needed for my dorm instead of looking ahead and setting aside money in case I needed it for something. Well, that was a mistake I will never forget. It is the worst when you are frantically trying to muster up some money for something that appeared out of a sudden or hearing about medical news. It was not too bad of a medical issue but it was definitely something that was on my mind for that period of time.
Anything can pop up out of nowhere so again, it is better to be prepared. I would suggest you set aside $200-$1000. I know that probably sounds like a lot but it will depend on what your need is. For example, if your computer all of a sudden decides to not work or accidentally gets ruined and you have a paper that is due in a couple of days, you might be more willing to buy a new computer urgently. If your college is able to provide you a computer for rent or you have access to a computer, then it might not be a need for you. Anything can happen and it is much better to be prepared ahead of time than scrambling and becoming worried about money.
Lesson: DO set aside some money in case of emergency. Although you would probably like to spend it on something else like clothes or a concert, I would definitely recommend that you set aside some money in case you ran out of food or you need to pay a plan for your phone.
Out of the 11 lessons that I have shared, I hope that one of these will be helpful for you. I hope that you have a great college experience and I am so excited for you to take flight in this new phase of life!
Love,
Betty